Hard Fought Lessons

Wow… what a year! 2025 didn’t go at all how I thought it would’ve!

2025 in Review

This last year was one full of lessons, most of them hard fought or painful. Looking back, I can see the pieces that had to fall from my grasp to fall into place (and I’m just seeing through a mirror dimly). God had a plan through it all and I just had to surrender to His plan and not my own. Man, if only I’d written a book about the main character learning to trust God despite the many hardships he faced… lol!

The writing routine I started this spring (getting up at 5:30 to read the Bible and then write for a few hours) was tough and showed me that consistent writing and sticking it out does work, yet it wasn’t enough. In all of that, I came face-to-face with the harsh reality that there was too much stress maintaining five income streams (including seasonal and part-time work) to let my creativity flow. Then the next reality came crashing down, what we were currently doing for income needed to change or I wouldn’t be able to write successfully in this season of life. 

Don’t get me wrong, the early morning writing routine worked, in a technical sense, but there wasn’t much joy in the process. Over half of the mornings I was writing was pulling teeth and that’s not much fun. Sure, there are always those days where it’s hard work, but most of the time it’s enjoyable to write. Otherwise, I wouldn’t want to keep doing it… well that’s not exactly true. I have too many stories inside and I must get them out somehow. But much of the process felt forced in a way that wasn’t healthy.

Which brought me to the realization that it was time for a full-time job. That was a rough one. I’d been able to provide for my family for seven years with the seasonal work and our businesses, but in the last three I’d had to add a part-time job and we were at another crossroads: keep going the way we were, find another source of income and add more stress, or trade the five plates I was trying to balance for one.

It made me realize that while I enjoyed all the different things I was doing, I’d originally done them to provide for my family and allow myself the time and space to write. Yet that wasn’t how it worked. With every new job I added, it cut out more time and mental space, making it very very tough to do it with any amount of joy. After a few weeks of struggling at the edge of the cliff, praying, and discussing it with my wife, I decided it was time to take the plunge.

Then the waiting came.

It was almost 2 months of looking for a job before anything came up. But the wait was worth it (though it wasn’t easy). I was able to land a job with a local IT company owned by a friend from church. I realized quickly that I loved the work and it was similar in part to a lot of the work I’d done before. I also realized quickly that this wasn’t a show up to work and “zone out” job, it takes a lot of mental energy and has its own stress. And yet, it’s not as stressful as trying to juggle five streams of income plus the pay is good and consistent, which is something we’ve never had. Add to that the room for growth, flexible schedule, relaxed environment (I even had my own office from day one), and great coworkers/boss and you have a winning combo!

What I learned this year

First off, the new routine I began this year did endure… somewhat. My wife and I are still getting up early (5:30-6) to get into the Word, and it gives me some time with my family before work. I had to make sacrifices to keep it up, like giving up video games, and losing half of our evenings together without the kids, but it’s been worth it for both of us. The writing part didn’t last, but I don’t think it could have with all the other moving pieces.

Secondly, I learn what matters most, God, my wife, and my kids, in that order. Then providing for my family, friends, and hobbies bringing up the rear.

Thirdly, even though most of my writing sessions were like pulling teeth, I still had some good ones that felt almost… magical (not to romanticize it too much, but there is something about the feeling of losing yourself in the joy of creation). I knew then, and I know now that I’m meant to write in some way, shape, or form. It may not be when or how I want it to be, but I’m confident that God has given me the ability to write and I’m meant to shepherd it well.

Fourth, putting in the hard work and trying new life rhythms is worth it even if it doesn’t work out. My full, ideal routine didn’t last six months. Yet, it showed me that I could get up early (which I hate), make the necessary sacrifices, and live in a “non-ideal” routine for a time. It taught me to be more disciplined for the things that matter and to not waste my time as much on the things that don’t.

Fifth and most important, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:8). I might think I need to do this or that, or what is best, but rarely does it come to pass. My plans rarely work out and that’s good! I’m a finite creature with limited experiences and years yet I tend to think I know what is best. Yet I can rest in the knowledge that an all-knowing, eternal God is sovereign over all time and my life. He knows what is best and even when it seems to be falling apart or when it hurts, it is for His Glory and my ultimate good. There is joy and peace in resting in that knowledge and I’d say it’s the most important lesson that’s been hammered home these last few years. 

Looking back, I never would have thought 10+ years ago that I’d be living where I am, doing what I’m doing. And I honestly don’t know if I would choose it. If I could go back and make the choice, I can still imagine “better” options for how my life could have gone. Not in terms of my wife, kids, friends, or family. But locationally and vocationally… maybe. Yet, I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is all going according to God’s plans and I will rest in His leading knowing that it is best.

So, where am I at now?

I have a plan for 2026 (more on that in a future post)!

Will it go like I think? No.

Will it go how I’d hope? Probably not.

Will it be good if I trust in God and live according to His will? Yes, immensely so.

Will it be easy? Heck no! Life rarely is and the things that matter the most offer the most challenges. 

Am I ready for it? Yes… I think.

But I can promise you one thing. I’m going to do my best to glorify God in all I do and live within the joy He offers in doing such. And maybe, just maybe, part of that is by writing to entertain and share truth, beauty, and goodness through fantastical stories!

Here’s to a great 2026!

Thanks for sticking with me all these years. I promise I will release something new soon…

Somehow.

Someway.

Lord willing!